When I read back the prayer below, it makes me realize how haunting “what ifs…” can be. It also creates unnecessary anxiety when the Lord is already calling us not to worry.
This is one of my favorite verses…
Matthew 6:25-34 NIV 25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
[Added notes and elaboration are italicized…]
Wednesday, January 27th, 2021 8:57a NS4L office
Jesus,
I thought last night’s podcast episodes with Jay Carter Martin and the guys from Laundr were interesting and fun. It makes me crave our own studio space so bad. Do we build out our own studio? Do we not? Will NS4L [New Scooters 4 Less] sell? Will it not? Should I do this? Should I do that? As soon as I feel a bit of clarity, it feels like it’s gone the next day. I’m usually not afraid to take action, but there is more risk now. I want my family to be healthy and stable, but I’m also unmotivated to work on NS4L that I want to exit as quick as possible, but then I question whether or not that is something YOU want.
[I recently met with a founder of a business that was looking to make a quick exit from his company. He was in the same position I was when I wrote this prayer… burnt out, drowning in business debt, and things headed in the wrong direction. This is a bad spot as a business owner. He was willing to let his company and the amazing brand he built go for pennies on the dollar. By sharing my story with him (the story that’s gradually being told and broken down through my blog to you), I think I’ve convinced him that it is a bad idea and he is currently pushing through this difficult trial. I know what he’s feeling though. When I wrote this prayer in January 2021, I was willing to let New Scooters 4 Less go for next to nothing. I would soon learn God’s plan and get on board. Future blog posts will share the story, but God’s plan would lead us to the most profitable year we have ever had (up to that date). Thank you, Jesus… Friends, yield to God’s plan. I promise it’s worth it.]
Then I wonder if I had time to focus on the podcast, this new business venture (the ripple effect), the studio buildout, etc. whether or not I’d feel this way. What if there were new people and the energy was new? What if I could find that person to step in and run this business? What if I gave the team ownership? Would they want it? I could drive myself insane with these “what ifs.” I also am afraid of messing something up with this property. I don’t want to screw this up.
[Sometimes I wonder if I had any faith at all. My mind was all over the place. I was thinking about what’s next, new ventures, the podcast, etc. when I had this gift from God right in front of me that I was responsible for stewarding to the best of my ability and I was blowing the opportunity. Feeling trapped. Looking for anyway out…
When I read this back today, I think of the apostle Paul being trapped in prison. He was trapped, yet he knew there was purpose in his imprisonment. He didn’t complain. In fact, he wrote about NOT complaining…
Philippians 2:14-18 NIV 14 Do everything without grumbling or arguing, 15 so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky16 as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain. 17 But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18 So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.
Paul wrote this in prison! He also wrote about JOY while in prison…
Philippians 4:4-8 NIV 4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Seriously… I’ve got so much to learn.) Paul trusted God’s plan. I wonder if in his mind he questioned it a time or two or twenty, but he stayed true to whatever God’s will was for him. My goal is to have Paul’s faith and mindset as I move forward in life. It’s so powerful.]
Every prayer in this journal may be the same every time I sit down to write… please provide more clarity. Please make it SO clear what steps I should take. Please show me the way. Please let it happen now, before April 1. What should I be doing RIGHT NOW?
Before I start this day, I wanted to say thank you for Jane Harris at FLCU [Florida Credit Union]. I’m sure she hasn’t received a lot of pats on the back, but she has been super helpful with the PPP stuff. Please let that be approved this week and give NS4L more lifeline as we let your plans unfold.
Love you.
Collin
Today’s final thoughts…
Ask yourself… “Am I building up any unnecessary anxiety through the ‘what ifs’ in my life? What do I need to release to God?” Then, release them.
Are you emotional about a situation in your life right now? Are you overwhelmed? Are you burnt out? Do you feel trapped? Please, be careful. I believe that these are the times we are most likely to do something we’ll regret (like letting a business you’ve developed for several years go for pennies on the dollar). Instead, take a few steps back. Seek wisdom from mentors. Dive into the word of God. Journal… write it all out. Pause. Don’t do anything right now. Release it to God and wait on him to lift the fog.
What are you complaining about that you probably shouldn’t be?
Today is Saturday, November 11th, 2023. Happy Veterans Day to all those that served in our armed forces. I’m super grateful for your service and today, we celebrate YOU. Extra love goes out to this guy, my dad, Frank Austin, who was a fighter pilot in our United States Air Force. Love you dad.
Have a blessed weekend and week ahead everyone. Thank you for reading.
Best,
Collin
Photos from the podcast episode mentioned in the journal post that would release in February 2021…
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