Strength in Tears
Part of my prayer journal entry from May 5, 2021
I’m an emotional guy. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I probably cry more than the average dude. You know what? I’m proud of it.
Entrepreneurship is hard. I’ve said it before, but I’m not afraid to share it again… I’ve locked the door and sat on the floor in the bathroom at New Scooters 4 Less and cried more times than I can count.
Some may call that weak, but these moments have led me to rely on God. Because of that, I would say that I am strong.
Here‘s a piece of my emotional mess of a journal entry from Wednesday, May 5th, 2021…
[Forgive me in advance for the fragmented and run-on sentences, lol…]
Wednesday, May 5th, 2021 9:14a Showroom Desk
Jesus,
I feel guilty. I feel guilty because I’m failing at making the time to sit down and do this. Talk to you. Pray. Read the Word which I haven’t done in a while. Forgive me. Nudge me.
Yesterday I shouted, “Jesus, this is not ok!” Stressed. Overwhelmed. Feeling like I am killing myself for this business. For the customers. Not seeing any reward at the moment. Crying. Missing my family. Thinking “I should have taken the $3 million.”
I catch myself and in that moment ask for your forgiveness. How can I even question what you have planned for me? I’m here because of you. I’m here to serve you. I need to shut up, put my head down, do the best I can to serve you. So, please forgive my slip ups. Let me crush the day. Lots of scooter sales and deposits, let me feel “caught up” on work, let me go home on time to see my family and friends on Cinco de Mayo, let me leave feeling fulfilled in the days work… Like I fulfilled the purpose of the day.
These are all the things flooding to my mind right now as I reflect on this prayer…
1. We Have a Gracious God.
I felt guilty about not sitting down and prayer journaling as much as I wanted to, but when I reflect back to this time, I was in a state of constant prayer.
I prayed all day long, “Lord… help me with this. What are you thoughts on this? What would you like to do here, Lord. Etc.” and sought feedback from Him throughout the day.
Yes… we should carve out quality time to spend with Him in our day, but you know what is better than that? Being in that constant connection with Him throughout the day.
Lord, how I crave that constant connection to you all the time. Remove my fleshly ways that interfere with my relationship with you!
2. Seasons Come. Season Go.
Look… Entrepreneurship is hard. It’s the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life. I also love it and couldn’t imagine NOT being an entrepreneur.
You may cry a lot, but when you start to see the fruits of your labor, you’ll be left with one of the greatest unmatched feelings in the world.
(My only advantage?…) As an emotional wreck of an entrepreneur, lol, the Lord has given me such an incredible partner to endure this roller coaster with. My wife, Shannon, has been so supportive and intentional during these times.
Some seasons required working late many nights. Shannon would bring the boys and dinner and we would have a picnic on the showroom floor. These were some of the toughest times, but they are now core memories.
I love reflecting back on these tearful seasons… They brought strength!
For Finding Strength in Weakness:
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NIV)
But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
This verse is a reminder that God’s grace is enough. In my weakest moments—whether I’m sitting on the bathroom floor or shouting in frustration—His power sustains me. It’s through those moments that I grow stronger, not by my own doing, but because He carries me.
How about you? How do you stay connected to God during tough seasons? I’d love to hear your story—drop it in the comments or email me directly. Better yet, share it with someone who might need this encouragement.
No matter what season you are in, remember this… God’s grace is sufficient, and He will carry you through.
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