Handcuffed
New Year's Eve: My prayer journal entry from December 31, 2020
If you are an entrepreneur, do you ever feel handcuffed to your business? Don’t get me wrong, I love being an entrepreneur, but it’s certainly not the “freedom to do whatever you want” lifestyle the world makes it out to be. In fact, it’s quite the opposite…
You put everyone’s needs ahead of your own. Your mental health suffers the most because you carry the weight of what’s happening deep in the business while (most) team members have no clue and expect to get paid on Friday. Out of everyone, you are the one that needs a mental health day, but you are least likely to actually get one. If a team member gets a severe headache, they’re taking the day off. As an entrepreneur? You’re working through it. Calling in sick? Not happening. I can count the number of sick days I’ve had over the past 19 years on one hand.
Vacation? Is there such a thing? Because when I’m on “vacation,” I’m still working. I’m still managing. I’m always on call. I’m still doing what’s necessary to take care of the business and the team...
[Re-typed and elaborated for clarity and context…]
Thursday, December 31, 2020, 12:44 pm Angel Fire, NM
Jesus,
It’s the last day of 2020 and in two days, we will be leaving Angel Fire, NM to head home. It’s an amazing place and it’s been such a blessing to be here with the family. It has been such a needed trip. My favorite part was seeing the boys (and my nieces too) learn how to snow ski. Thank you for this time.
LORD - I should be happy today but have felt my anxiety rise just thinking about next week [preparing to go back to work]. I had to wake up, transfer money around to ensure people get paid (for not really working this week) and I start to feel a little resentful. I’d like to think that they care, but I won’t get a single thank you for the [paid] time off this past couple of weeks. Meanwhile, I struggle, thinking of them and their needs and ensuring things are lined up. Do they deserve it? Sure. I’m sure most think they are entitled to it and that does irritate me a little. [I’m not proud of feeling this way. Part of me didn’t want to share this with you, my reader, but I want to be authentic in this blog. I was having a real, raw moment as I shared my heart with my savior.]
Luckily, payroll shouldn’t exceed $4,000 [this was actually low for us and we are paid weekly, so this is for one week] or so since all our part-time people are off and said they would be ok without the pay [our college student team members work part-time and wanted the break off anyway]. Ugh. I don’t know. I think I’m just feeling sorry for myself again [I was]. The rest of the family is off, not worried about work, stress-free, and here I am working on New Year’s Eve to make sure we are set for next week. I keep thinking, “Wouldn’t it be nice if I had residual passive income and could be here with zero worry about tomorrow? Wouldn’t it be nice to have the freedom to travel and not worry about money? Wouldn’t it be nice to expose my children to more experiences like this one? I want to have more passive revenue streams. I want freedom.
Jesus - help me with my attitude as I approach the new year… If it is your will, Jesus, I pray…
I’ll close the NS4L [New Scooters 4 Less] chapter of my life as chief operator. [Again… this obviously did not happen and I’m still grateful for this unanswered prayer. God knows best.]
I’ll achieve financial freedom personally and professionally, no more debt. [We are getting closer and closer each day. Personally, we have just our house left to pay off. Professionally, we are working toward paying the last little bit of our inventory credit line off and then we will be focused on the commercial property mortgage.]
My passion for the podcast and small business will reach new heights. [Though the podcast is still on pause, I would say that my passion for small business has reached new heights. At the time of this writing, I was down on myself and wanted out of the business badly. Today, though not-so-good days do exist, my fire for small business is back and I’m excited about what the future holds.]
I’ll be the healthiest I’ve been physically, mentally, and spiritually. [Though I want to continue to get stronger in all of these areas, I am in the best shape I’ve ever been physically, mentally, and spiritually.]
My relationship with Shannon will grow, the vision for our lives remains aligned, and our relationship is the healthiest it’s ever been. [You’ll probably have to ask her on this one, lol, but I do believe our vision is aligned and because we’ve actually made it to almost 16 years of marriage, I think it’s the healthiest it’s been too!]
I’ll be a great father to my two boys. [So far so good I think, lol. There’s always room for improvement, right? I did have the honor of baptizing both of them this year (2023) and I’m so grateful they made the decision to follow Jesus.]
We’ll create incredible memories that last an eternity. [I believe we are.]
My life will be a positive impact on the world and a reflection of you. [To be determined, but I’m working toward this each and every day.]
Thank you again so much for this quality time with my family. Keep us safe as we prepare to fly home in a couple of days. Let us return home to Gainesville safely, healthy, and prepared to take on 2021. Let my mindset be so incredibly positive and optimistic as we start this year. Thank you for “resets.” Please let this new year be a great reset so I indeed look back and say, “I told you Collin that 2020 would be the best year ever.” [I told myself throughout 2020 that it would end up being the best year ever and indeed it was. 2020 reset what was actually important… God and Family. It also was the best thing to ever happen to my business career… not financially (in the moment), but it would set me on a much-needed path, one that followed Jesus’s plan.]
I love you Jesus. Thank you for your grace and mercy. Thank you for the opportunity to live this life.
Collin
I wanted to end this post by saying this… I do believe that the best entrepreneurs can build great teams to manage and run the business. I don’t think all business owners are handcuffed to their businesses, but I do believe that most are.
There have been times in my entrepreneurial career when I was able to leave for a week or two and everything ran just fine. As a leader, I’m working toward that again and ultimately building a business that doesn’t need me. What I’ve learned is that it’s not easy and it does take great skill in recruiting the best talent to your team, keeping the best talent on your team, and setting very clear expectations.
If you are an entrepreneur and you can relate to me on this, respond and say hello. We need each other.
The next season…
2021 is when I would start to see God’s plan begin to unfold. I hope you will share this blog with those that want and need to see that God’s plan is better than their own.
Thank you for joining me on this journey! Praying you have a blessed week ahead!
Best wishes always,
Collin
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