The Journey into the Unknown
The Covid-Era Begins
One of the most vulnerable positions to be in as a leader is the “I don’t know” position. “I don’t know what’s going to happen because of this virus. I don’t know how long we will be closed… I don’t know... I don’t know.”
You feel like you’re supposed to have the answers. You’re supposed to have the strength and courage to lead everyone as you enter the unknown. Man, it’s hard.
I remember when the first Covid case was reported in Alachua County, FL. The University of Florida made an announcement urging students to go home and told professors to move classes online by the following Monday.
I pulled the NS4L team together saying we were going to close for a short time. We scrambled to create “Covid storage” and encouraged the students to drop their scooters off for storage at the dealership as they left town to head home which provided a small amount of cash flow.
Though business was already shaky as shown in previous blog posts, I remember having a feeling of excitement and relief. I know that sounds strange, but mentally I was exhausted and burnt out and physically, I had been sick for a month and half at this point. Close the shop for a bit? YES PLEASE. Yes, we were struggling and being closed was the last thing we needed, but everything my body needed.
And so it begins…
(After my previous journal entry on February 24th, 2020, I didn’t write again until…)
[Retyped and elaborated for clarity and context]
Wednesday, March 11th, 2020 6:47p [the day Covid-19 was declared a global pandemic]
Lord, Heal me. This cough hurts. I’ve had it for a month and a half with no improvement. In fact, it feels worse. Going to the doctor in the morning. Please let him help. Guide him. Heal me.
I pray over NS4L [New Scooters 4 Less]. With students leaving for 2 weeks and maybe more, there is a lot of uncertainty. Bring us the revenue necessary to run the organization. Bring new, innovative, ideas to mind. In a time of doubt and uncertainty, let us be confident and effective leaders.
Please help with:
Property refi [I felt that refinancing our commercial property and possibly taking a little equity out in the process may help with cash flow. This wouldn’t come to fruition in this moment.]
NS4L sales, profit, cash flow
Maddox’s tooth [I can’t recall what was going on here, but dental bills and medical bills are a big part of being a parent! I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world, but these expenses often sneak up on you!]
Unexpected expenses (car problems) [Another thing that always seems to sneak up on you!]
Problems wrapping up Repaint projects [We were trying to wrap up one of the final video projects under our media company. One of the Repaint team members had left town already and hadn’t completed editing the project. It put us in a rough spot.]
I love you and I pray that should anything serious happen to me and you decide it’s my time, whether today or 70 years from now, my family will be taken care of and my impact on this world lives on. [Not to over dramatize anything, but have you ever been so sick that at times you weren’t sure whether or not you were going to make it? It’s probably been a more common feeling through the Covid-era, but man… I do remember questioning this once or twice.] Thank you for the gifts you’ve given me and this amazing life I have. Thank you for the opportunity to live and impact the lives of others. Amen. [I was still finding things to be grateful for. There is always something!]
Looking back I wish I would have written in my prayer journal more those first couple of weeks of Covid. I had this short entry on March 11th, 2020 right when everything started to happen, but didn’t write again until two weeks later…
[Retyped and elaborated for context and clarity]
Wednesday, March 25th 2020 10:04a
Lord, I need to journal and write more. I just really don’t like to write :/ [This is my ‘blah’ face. At times, I would write more and more and feel on fire. Other times, my writings were more spaced out. I still prayed, just didn’t write. During these times, I just give myself grace and thank the Lord for his.] This COVID-19 stuff has been crazy. I know you are in control and that you have a plan. There is a reason for this and you will use this for your good and for ours. I have no doubt about that. I just pray that you’ll keep my family and myself healthy during this outbreak. [The thought that Covid is probably what I had during this time didn’t cross my mind until much later.] Protect my family. Protect my team. Protect my friends. Protect my community. Heal them when they are sick.
Lord guide me as we head into the unknown these next few weeks. I don’t want this virus to put NS4L out of business, but I want to hold strong, knowing that YOU are in control and have a plan for me.
Psalm 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD, he turned to me and heard my cry.
Thank you for the people in my life and for the relationships I’ve built. God bless [Names of personal friends], my wife, my kids – all of whom I talked with this morning and have been on my heart. Bless them, Lord. [I also dropped coffee on my journal in this area, lol.]
Control today’s conversations. Speak through me. Let me positively impact someone’s life today and let it glorify you.
Your son - Collin
I hope that these last few series of journal entries I’ve shared have given you a window into my life during this time. Obviously, it was a difficult period.
I know that there is a lot of ‘set up’ for the story that’s about to be told, but I feel it’s important for you to see the things that were on my mind and for how long. Sometimes, we expect an answer right away. We are impatient. God’s grace and glory would soon be revealed to me in time. His answers, or in some cases, non-answers, would be revealed, and I would soon understand why certain things happened or didn’t happen.
Thank you for reading (and sharing)!
Until next time, blessings to you and yours,
❤️ Collin