Asking for Directions
My prayers from February 2020 - days before the Covid pandemic
I think one of the toughest decisions for any entrepreneur is knowing when to stop. When do you throw in the towel? If you’re bleeding money, do you wait until you run out or do you cut your losses and salvage what is left? Would one more day, one more deal, one more client extend your business’s life and start to turn everything around? (I don’t have a perfect answer for you here. I wish I did. I believe it’s different for everyone and you have to depend on God for the answer.)
There have been days where if I didn’t sell a scooter TODAY, there would be no one getting paid tomorrow. I believe God puts us in these moments for ultimate dependence on HIM.
Sometimes, God’s plan IS to pause for a bit. Other times, it’s to step away for good. We may not understand it in the present, but we will definitely understand later when God’s plan plays out. (Sometimes, as you’ll see in my future prayers I’ll share, I would proceed one direction just to have God steer me back in the right direction, HIS direction.)
You’ll see in my prayers below, that I made the decision to pause our media company, Repaint The Wall, and you’ll also see where we were days away from having NS4L (New Scooters 4 Less) forcefully paused because we were almost out of money (we’re still here because… God.)…
Pay close attention to the italicized context in the retype entries below…
[The next 3 journal entries are back-to-back in my journal.]
[Retyped and elaborated for clarity and context]
Tuesday February 11, 2020 7:58a
Lord, I am meeting with my friend [Name omitted for privacy] at 8:45 this morning. He has been unable to pay a $2000 invoice he owes me because I believe he is in some business circumstance similar to mine. I pray for [him]. I pray and ask you to bless his business. Bring him clients. Help him grow. Help him be profitable. I believe he is a good guy, but I pray he seeks your guidance.
Lord - thank you for the incredible people in my life. [Even when I am under the toughest of circumstances I always try to go to God and express gratitude for something.] My mom and dad for their incredible support. My team for their belief and faith in me as their leader. Thank you for [this is a list of names of friends, including my mastermind group and other supporters.] and the countless amounts of people that lift me up when I am down. Most importantly, thank you for my wife Shannon and my amazing children Schaefer and Maddox. They give me so much more purpose to everything I do. I pray for help getting my business and life to a place where I can spend way more time with them.
I pray that I am making the right call when it comes to Repaint, but I pray for your blessing in that decision. [As I said in a previous blog, Repaint was already headed downhill and three team members at this time put in notice that they were leaving. They probably saw the writing on the wall. I made the call to “pause” the business (meaning keep it active with the state but not pursue new business) and move a couple of the team members to NS4L’s payroll. In reality, God made the call to pause the business. We still had some of the original $200,000 investment left, but we were burning through it quick. With 3 people leaving the company all at once, it was a clear sign that God didn’t want my focus on the media work even though that is what I wanted.] February 21, 2020 Repaint will officially have one person working for it —> Me. I pray for the health of [three team members] as they move onto the next chapters, and I pray that New Scooters 4 Less will be able to afford [names of two team members] should they choose to come work for that company. [I have never laid someone off and didn’t want to, so shifting team members to work at New Scooters 4 Less seemed like the best idea even though that company was struggling too.] I pray that your will be done in all of this and that you make what is supposed to happen, happen. New Scooters 4 Less Lost [with a capital L!] money in January 2020 which was super surprising to me. What am I doing wrong? Please help me make NS4L profitable once again. Show me where the problems lie. Help me fix them. Open my eyes. Specifically - do not let NS4L go out of business and do not let it continue to lose money. Please God, help me get it turned around and help me build it to the inspirational dealership it once was. Relieve me of the financial debt in this business. Help me lock down summer storage for the summer. [I was concerned that we wouldn’t have the space to accommodate the scooters we normally store over the summertime.] Help me start seeing some results and cash flow. Help me get all team members to a healthy wage.
Finally, God, I pray for the [Name omitted for privacy] family. Soften their hearts, Lord. The threats, hostility, anger built up within them over this [private matter]. It’s not the stressors I need, and I know that a solution can be found over this [private matter]. I pray for them. They are your children too God and I pray that they seek your guidance on this [private matter]. Can you tell me what to do? Show me a clear path. [In life, whether personal or business, we’re going to have conflicts. I do everything I can to remember that God created those individuals as well. They are his children too. He loves them too. Choose to pray for them. Matthew 5:44-45 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.]
Show me a clear direction in everything above. Help me become the man you intended. My life is yours. I am your servant. Forgive any selfish intentions. Let your will be done for my life, just show me the way. Let it be crystal clear. I love you and thank you. Amen.
A week later…
[Retyped and elaborated for clarity and context]
Tuesday, February 18th, 2020 7:54a
Lord -
As of this moment, there’s only $1,528.57 in my operating account. There is $2,984.46 in the Austin Global Holdings account. $6,000 in the Reserve account. There is $16,070.35 in our Bank of America checking (with $9,000 of that going to sales tax in a couple days) $9,101.54 and Bank of America reserve, but that is reserve to pay off a golf cart we owe on [Before you ask, we don’t sell golf carts anymore, lol]. Cash flow is low Lord and I am specifically praying for relief. [These were all business accounts I’m referring to.]
Mark 11:24 Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.
I’m praying for the day I will never have to worry about cash flow again. My family and I will be financially free while on Earth.
I’m praying for a resolution with the [Name omitted for privacy] family on this [private matter]. Make them understand that it is not about the money. Lord, help me be a steward of what is yours. Remind me of this so that my heart is always in the right place.
Help me be a strong leader. Help me build strong people. Help me invest in my team. Help me build a strong family. Direct my path. Show me the steps. I pray for this relief from financial burden and pray for record-breaking February and March and 2020. [One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in faith is that our timeline is not always God’s timeline.]
Thank you Jesus for all you have given me already. Forgive my sins. Grow me. Love you.
Collin
[I can’t begin to tell you why I started signing my name. Maybe it felt more personal. Also… if you notice… you’ll see that I went from writing just the date to writing the day, date, time, and eventually place. It was as if God had/has plans for me to come back to these and remember intimate details of when and where I was in that moment of time.]
Almost a week later…
[Retyped and elaborated for clarity and context]
Monday, February 24th, 2020 7:48a
Lord -
There’s just so much. I could fill up this whole book with the amount of things on my plate and on my mind. Yesterday I was at my parents with my boys and I worked all day so I wouldn’t be drowning today. I barely played with my kids or talked with my parents. I worked all day. I love being an entrepreneur, but this is not what I want for my life. Worry. Debt. Stress. Feeling like a failure. Lord - take it all. Show me my next steps. Prioritize for me. Lead me. Help me be strong for my family and for my team. With millions of things stacking up on my plate I’m asking for your help prioritizing these things. Make it clear. Please alleviate the stress of cash flow. Without moving money around, there isn’t enough for payroll. Bring us the sales, service, revenue, necessary to make payroll and get this company healthy again. I’m overwhelmed. I’m sick (take this cough and illness away Jesus please [as I said in a previous blog, I’m sure I had Covid before Covid was a known thing in the United States]). I’m frustrated. I’m struggling. I know there’s a plan in this and I stay confident in that. I trust you. I know you know what is best for me. There is purpose in all this [Would you believe that I believe part of God’s purpose in this was for me to write this blog?] I look forward to watching your plan unfold. Help me be a great steward of what is yours. Thank you Jesus for all you have given me. I’m so grateful.
Love you. Collin
As I continue to share, you’ll see that things happen on HIS timeline, not mine. Things were about to get more interesting as we headed toward the Covid era…
“When you’ve come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.” (Credited to Abraham Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt, and others)
I say… “When you’ve come to the end of your rope, let go and surrender it all to Jesus.”